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All Deviations

the coast of virginia by ~mySeity:iconmySeity:



we will trip over poetry
before we have begun

did you know
that my hair blown about, tasting like seaweed
is the most erotic thing I ever known?

arms cannot be awkward
if they are true
or trembling, beautiful legs
no one could ever believe
we evolved from mermaids

love is not a beach. it is not
even
the sand in my shoes
because when I looked at you
you wore no shirt but
somehow I was the naked one

you know what they say, about sparks.

your voice slides over me like the tide
drafty and intense, then
slides back into the sea
instead of sinking,
we float, carried by the history
of a thousand winds

I was writing
even as the night stuck in my throat
but you smiled, touching hands
as a gull dips over the shoreline

and I coughed because my
hair was netting up the sun, which settled
too far away
to set me aflame
©2008 ~mySeity
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Submitted: March 12
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Author's Comments

despite everything, I feel like
1) I've lost it. with writing, I mean.
2) I was wrong about love.
3) I was wrong about me.


[title sorta inspired by 'coast of maine' by Ivory]
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Devious Comments

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~SoothingAngel:iconSoothingAngel: Mar 13, 2008, 4:00:45 AM
oh, many times have I listened to Ivory when writing.


You haven't lost it.
But,
it's always humbling to feel so.
~InnocenceDivine:iconInnocenceDivine: Mar 13, 2008, 8:27:00 AM
Amazing, really. I love this.
*Fledgist:iconFledgist: Mar 13, 2008, 9:28:15 AM
This is very well done.

--
As we grow older, we do not get any younger.
~sunshinegypsy:iconsunshinegypsy: Mar 13, 2008, 10:28:09 AM
yesterday i saw a man climbing in the back of his truck and his jeans were worn in such a way that i felt a surge of complete love. i loved his jeans, i loved him in his jeans. it was not sexual, it was just this desire to climb up beside him and ask where we were going next.

somehow this made me think of that. the way things look versus the way things are versus the way things end up being.

--
In my dream, the angel shrugged & said, If we fail this time, it will be a failure of imagination & then she placed the world gently in the palm of my hand.

Brian Andreas
~bloodyteardrop08:iconbloodyteardrop08: Mar 13, 2008, 9:43:25 PM
Awesome! Love this, mainly because I love the ocean and the imagery is awesome and the line did you know
that my hair blown about, tasting like seaweed
is the most erotic thing I ever known?
captured my heart because it is so relatable to me. :+favlove:

--
*I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions.*

*Behind this mask is an idea... And ideas are bulletproof.*

*We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.*
~moonlitwindypath:iconmoonlitwindypath: Mar 14, 2008, 7:06:11 PM
"but
somehow I was the naked one"

Aweeesome. Love the two newest ones. Dunt think you've lost it with the writing.

--
“Writing is really very easy. Tap a vein and bleed onto the page. Everything else is just technical.” ~derrick jensen
~Natasek:iconNatasek: Mar 15, 2008, 12:55:25 PM
I like the way it's written, and how you speak widely of things, yet hold some pattern (with hair and sand).. I liked reading it.

--
Feel.
[link]
~Deathstarr:iconDeathstarr: Mar 17, 2008, 12:31:32 PM
amazing.

--
the sun in the trees made the skyline look like crooked teeth.
*StrayedMusician:iconStrayedMusician: May 11, 2008, 4:03:15 PM
with a few tiny editing and touch-up, I'd say, you're ready to go. This was very very nice.

--
"I love you more than my own skin." -- Frida Kahlo