Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
morning lifts to the smell
of oranges

he enters her eyes, a
stranger waving away
              her dreams, which are thick and rough-skinned as the
              carpet beneath her soles

                                          she is getting up,
                                          clinging to the up
                                          because down

is a quiet fruit that she'd
rather not peel
alone
Plath-inspired :)
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2011-02-23
There is real beauty in the brevity of Oranges by ~mySeity. ( Suggested by zebrazebrazebra and Featured by nycterent )
:iconhikariakai:
HikariAkai Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
Very lovely :)
Reply
:iconjosephmaher:
josephmaher Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Professional
im allergic to oranges...
Reply
:iconbeigegray:
beigegray Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
Plath inspires like no other.
I love the final three lines, as well as the lack of capitalization and end-stopped lines.
Reply
:iconacousticvibe132:
AcousticVibe132 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
It's beautiful :)
Reply
:iconanramcc:
AnraMcC Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Student General Artist
:iconforeveraloneplz:
Reply
:iconanramcc:
AnraMcC Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Student General Artist
I think it's a pretty poem 8)
Reply
:icondanibones:
DaniBones Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
When I first saw this on that most-popular-or-whatever feed I was expecting it to be terrible (a lot of the writing on that thing is).

Thank you for proving me wrong and writing this super-awesome poem : )
Reply
:iconkaz-d:
Kaz-D Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
You know, this could be interpreted as absolutely anything, but it really struck me as poignant and I immediately thought of it as being about somebody who relies on care. And the carer arrives in the morning, a stranger, and she gets up, clings to the up - because down is not somewhere she wants to be. Just my thoughts anyway but I thought this was incredibly beautiful, because of just that - the plethora of interpretations that could be brought out.
Excellent work and huge congratulations on the Daily Deviation. You definitely deserve it :)
Reply
:iconqueenkohai:
queenkohai Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Mmmm... now I want oranges :lol:
Reply
:iconpursuingthecerberus:
PursuingTheCerberus Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Professional Writer
incredible piece! I just read it for the third time through...

Sylvia Plath is a huge inspiration of mine as well :)

I love the structure of the poem...the movement really adds to the piece.

"she is getting up,
clinging to the up
because down
is a quiet fruit that she'd
rather not peel
alone"

what a conclusion..perfectly stated.... "down is a quiet fruit"

congratulations on the DD...well deserved
Reply
:iconmiss-sock:
Miss-Sock Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I can't put my finger on why I like this so much, but I do! So simple, but so effective!
Reply
:iconrunty:
runty Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Student General Artist
meaningful :heart:
Reply
:iconangelstained:
angelStained Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011   Writer
wow... since 2006, and a DD today? O.O
Reply
:iconlinxinpei:
linxinpei Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Student Writer
I like the positivity behind it.
Well, at least I interpreted it as bearing a positive message: how the character would rather live in reality/find a companion as opposed to being alone. The line "she is getting up/clinging to the up" gives me the sense that the character is going to do something to change her loneliness, and as others have said, the end relates nicely to the beginning, where she has hope of new opportunities to make her life better.
Reply
:iconthatenglishguy:
thatenglishguy Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
I like it :-)
Reply
:iconlit-twitter:
Lit-Twitter Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
Chirp, it's been twittered. [link] :)
Reply
:iconfrog00301:
Frog00301 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2010
I love the refrence to the "tough" dreams and the carpet! You're really good! :)
Reply
:iconxcalamitysxchildx:
xcalamitysxchildx Featured By Owner May 12, 2009  Student Writer
your diction is fascinating; the potential double-meanings and multiple interpretations (as ashellessmind suggested) are awesome. i personally thought it was about a lover...
the imagery is great too.
wonderful piece.

p.s. i enjoy miss plath myself. i can pretty much quote "I am vertical." :aww:
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2009
late response, but thank you very much! it is intended to be about a (theoretical) lover :P
Reply
:iconxcalamitysxchildx:
xcalamitysxchildx Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2009  Student Writer
you're very welcome! ^^
and yay me hahaha
Reply
:icondesertlion:
Desertlion Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2008   Writer
i want to read it slowly
and enjoy much like a fruit
but with this one
the peels are just as interesting
as the flesh
Reply
:iconyoungjang:
youngjang Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2007
Great poem, I loved it. Feels so different and refreshing.
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2007
Thanks :) glad you enjoyed!
Reply
:icona-random-quigle:
a-random-quigle Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2007
What a wonderful piece... .
The opening is fabulous. You capture the readers attention with a short, sharp and unusual image that really appeals to the senses. I love the choice of the word "lift" in the first line... makes me think of eyelids opening, and also of the sun rising above the horizon.

The piece maintains the high standard set in the opening lines throughout. I could say more but I just think I'll end up repeating other people's comments.
I'll say this-the whole piece feels beautifully polished... never a word to spare.
.
I love the layout you chose- looks like a curl of orange peel. Also, reminds me of those first few steps in the wobbly haze when you first awaken.
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2007
Thank you :heart: I really appreciate it.

the whole piece feels beautifully polished... never a word to spare.

that's exactly the effect I was trying to achieve! It's something I rarely do in my style of poetry.

And the orange peel comment is interesting! People come up with such interesting interpretations sometimes and it's really refreshing :) thanks again.
Reply
:icona-random-quigle:
a-random-quigle Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2007
My pleasure- :D I'm so glad you enjoyed my comment. You really did pull off this minimalistic style beautifully.
Reply
:iconliteratureodd:
literatureODD Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2007
Hi There! :wave:
You have just earned yourself an O.D.D. feature :winner:! congrats! :clap:
ODDS (oibyrd's daily deviations) are to honor the sometimes overlooked artists of dA that I personally think deserve some exposure (and ALSO, to show off people who I think are undeniably talented in their own genre of art, REGARDLESS of their #'s of fav's or pageviews. I like what I like and sometimes artwork isn't featured in the regular DDs because it's popular all on it's own It's a shame, but the admins are only trying to be fair! ). Please click the link below to see your work featured and to view other featured artists . If you prefer not to be a featured artist, just send me a note and I will remove you from the list. Cheers! xoxo Steff xoxo :w00t!:
[link]
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2007
Thanks for the feature! I'm very honored :)
Reply
:iconsoothingangel:
SoothingAngel Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2007
all hail the Plath.
*bows*

:)

This was lovely.
Reply
:iconbetween-dreams:
between-dreams Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2007
Have you ever listened to Joni Mitchell's "Chelsea Morning?" That is exactly what I thought of as I read this poem-- what a great concept.
Reply
:iconnyasa:
Nyasa Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2006
The beginning and ending go together so well, the beginning eventually assumes that the quiet fruit of down has been peeled from the start of the poem, the intro and exit connect interestingly here, I like it.
Reply
:iconashellessmind:
ashellessmind Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2006
Alright. This is the last thing I read last night. and by the time I'd read through it my obligatory three times, I had found tiredness had lept upon me and I was too tired to comment. I did distinctly remember enjoying it quite a bit though, so I faved it before I retired into dreams.
Now. I still like it quite a bit. So. here's the critique I owe you.

which are thick and rough-skinned as the
carpet beneath her soles

-- I think it was this description that made the poem insanely awesome for me. I love the way you describe the dreams, making them seem almost like a furry soft coat covering the girl, encasing her in a kind of strange shell. and I also love how rather than saying feet, shoes, toes, anything like that you said 'soles'. Because of course anyone who reads soles is going to think souls immediately. It makes me wonder where our souls are, and if they are encaged in a room with thick carpeting.
Ultimately, the description encourages the mind to wander, in a very good way, and its one of the best descriptions i've read in a while.

morning lifts to the smell
of oranges

he enters her eyes, a
stranger waving away
-- When you are talking about him 'entering her eyes' are you referring to sunlight itself? It sound to me like the sun enters her eyes, ushering away the dreams. If so, that is a very clever description. If not, take credit for it! Seriously...

is a quiet fruit that she'd
rather not peel
alone

-- I find myself very glad that you didn't repeat orange here, but found another word to use instead.

This poem is great, and its so small and looks so neatly polished that I think you found just about everything that I can normally find wrong with a poem. I dont see anything I would change. You've bested me, and that deserves the fave.
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2006
Thanks very much :) your comments are really refreshing to read. I have to admit that with "thick and rough-skinned" I was making an allusion to the orangey-feel of the entire poem, but your interpretations brought its meaning to life even more. Actually, all of your interpretations pretty much do that ^^

Thanks again. This is also probably one of the best comments I've gotten in a while.
Reply
:iconashellessmind:
ashellessmind Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2006
I did see the oranginess in the carpet. (orange carpet maybe hrm?) but I kept drawing more from it.
hell. I've been known to draw mountains out of molehills, and htats not traditionally a good thing but I dont think its so bad so. Yah. I saw the oranginess, but I saw more.
Its like a crystal ball with rough skin like a carpet, your words.
Reply
:iconthedaysofrain:
TheDaysOfRain Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2006
Very pretty write. I love it. :clap:
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2006
Thank you :heart:!
Reply
:iconzebrazebrazebra:
zebrazebrazebra Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2006  Professional Writer
Will you hurt me if I say I want more punctuation, and no comma after 'stranger'? =(

Okay, anyway. Those last four lines are beyond masterly - and I really love the enjambment throughout. It's delicate, and very well-timed. Nice one!
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2006
Eep! Thanks for the comment! I might have to say no to more punctuation, but I see how that comma after stranger is definitely out of place :)
And whatever put into your head that I was going to hurt you for giving me suggestions?
Reply
:iconzebrazebrazebra:
zebrazebrazebra Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2006  Professional Writer
Not suggestions, just punctuation. Because I always say something about it on every critique I ever make on anyone ever, and you know it!
Reply
:iconstabbedbycupid:
stabbedbycupid Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2006   Writer
very fresh. I love the line transitions and the form you've used. This flows exceptionally well.
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2006
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconzotaso:
zotaso Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2006
i like it. Its cute and refreshing, and kinda makes me want to eat an orange ^o^

Awesome job
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2006
Thanks for the +fav! I ate an orange today :) it was yum.
Reply
:icondanoodlebox:
DaNoodleBox Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, this one has a little bit of a different approach. It's like you start completely organic and move to man-made. It's a good thing! It felt fresh to read it...like an orange. Was that intentional?
Reply
:iconlmanyppt:
lmanyppt Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011
[link]

<{ j .o .r .d .a .n } (1-24) shoes $33

<{ j. o. r .d. a .n }2010 shoes $40

<{ c. o .a .c. h } handbag$36

<{N.i.k.e S.h.o.e.s } shoes $40

[link]
Reply
:iconei-fay:
Ei-fay Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2011  Student Artist
U: nice try, dood.
Reply
:iconmyseity:
mySeity Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2006
Thank you! Much of this poem was deliberate, but while I definitely hoped it would be a refreshing read, I didn't make it particularly intentional :)
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconmyseity: More from mySeity


Featured in Collections

Literature by Tinuviels-song

Literature by PrinceJose

Literature by Phu-Phu-Hugs-Me


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
July 7, 2006
File Size
587 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
5,550 (1 today)
Favourites
198 (who?)
Comments
47
×