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if I unzipped your
spine, what would
I find underneath?

you smile at me
with the conviction
of someone who has never
tried to count his ribs.

would that you
miss one, so that it
could come back in triumph
but no, you are the type
whose skeleton
would never abandon

you ride an elevator
all the way down
to my stomach. by this time
I have hopefully stolen
up into your heart.

these architectural
make us forget
the possibility
of undoing the
entire structure
if only 8th grade art class never turned me off architecture.


NaPo #28
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Fledgist Featured By Owner May 2, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
You have such wonderful imagery. I'm waiting for the Pulitzer announcement.
mySeity Featured By Owner May 2, 2009
you're too kind!
Fledgist Featured By Owner May 3, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Not in the least.
blue-strawberry Featured By Owner May 2, 2009
I loved the first stanza, it was great.

I'm a little confused by the line/s, "would that you
miss one." I don't know, I think I know what you mean but it could do with changing a little.

The last two stanzas were great as well, it was a good ending. It's just that little bit that bugs me. I may be being pedantic :)
kallia-goldenwings Featured By Owner May 1, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I love this one. Especially how a few lines made me giggles.
moondrunk Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2009   Writer
I must tell you the truth
I am envious of you
or rather the way you ply with words
that first stanza hooked me in
and most of your writing speaks to me much as the sounds of the sea. It's so easy to read your words that I slip off of them from time to time. You are one of those rare writers that inspire me on this site. Thank you
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Submitted on
April 30, 2009
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